The Yearning

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The yearning deep inside.

Where does it come from? An energy building towards something I don’t understand.

An ache, a desire unfulfilled. A desperate longing that leads to obsessions with whatever I think will fill it.

Nothing does.

It’s not for a person or a thing. I thought it was about a mission, or purpose, or creation – but if it, is it will not be achieved through doing.

It is ever silent, ever present.

It drives my every behaviour, all my thoughts and feelings. All of me. It drives me. It’s an obsession for something I don’t fully understand.

It can’t be achieved in the material world. It’s energy. A longing for a certain frequency of energy that balances what is out of balance.

The wave of interference that perfectly matches, that returns the energy of longing to zero point.

I long for the opposite to complete me – in an energetic form. The interference wave that is perfectly matched.

One archetype, one frequency at a time.

The yearning for wholeness.

It draws like a magnet, Please, please, please.

Where are you? Can you fill this deep longing? Can I end this relentless desire?

It is my life – this pursuit.

I try to squash it, force it to completion, end it, but in doing so I deny the very messages I need. For the incoming messages need the transmission in order to be drawn in, to feel it so fully it is guaranteed – like metal must find the magnet as the force increases.

Doing, controlling, needing to know, planning… reduces the magnetic force because it conflicts with the pure resonance of the desire. The desire for balance – the optimisation of the mind.

Oh it can be filled with so many things! Food, addictions, busyness, giving to others, anything goes!

The only thing that will ever complete it is its exact opposite. A neutralising wave of balanced frequency. Back to zero point.

Not arising, always there, but hidden.

Happiness can’t complete it. Happiness can’t hide it.

It is the depths, of all things, of infinite possibility, as infinity waits to be fulfilled.

It is the fulfillment of balancing infinity – where all things are forever balanced to zero.

It’s some sort of torture or torment.

Every moment of my existence is consumed, unless distracted.

And that is the gift of free time. No more distractions. Facing it and therefore drawing in completion.

Is it ever complete?

I suspect it starts again – in breath after out breath, out breath after in breath.

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